Waiting

WAIT
(Author Unknown)

Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently, said, "Child you must wait.
”My future and all to which I relate,
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a "yes," a go-ahead sign,
Or a "no," to which I then can resign.
And Lord, you promised that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry,
I'm weary of asking, I need a reply!
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate;
As my Master replied, once again, "You must wait.
”So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "so I'm waiting... for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
”I could shake the heavens and darken the sun,
I could raise the dead, and cause the mountains to run.
All you seek I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want, but you would not know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair,
You'd not learn to trust by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me,
When darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience that fullness of love,
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.
The glow of My comfort, late into the night,
The faith that I give, when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked,
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have, last.
You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that "My grace is sufficient for thee."
”Yes, your dreams for your loved ones, overnight would come true,
But, oh the loss if I lost, what I'm doing in you!
So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see,
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all, is still WAIT.

This poem kept coming to mind for someone else just yesterday or so I thought, but I think the Lord was really bringing it to mind for me. As some of you know I have had the high eye pressures of glaucoma for a number of years. Today we found out that I now have some of the nerve damage. It looks like I will be having laser surgery next Friday to try to bring down my eye pressures.

This afternoon I have definitely been feeling the first part of this poem. I have been trying not to worry or be scared, but sometimes it seems so hard. I know the Lord is in control, but I want Him to fix things. I don’t want the uncertainty of what will or might happen, “But, oh the loss if HE lost what HE is doing in ME!” Deep down I don’t want to lose that… I want the “greatest of gifts getting to know HIM.” I pray that I will be moldable clay that my potter the Lord Jesus Christ can mold into His image. I want to be the godly wife, mother, daughter and friend that He would have me be, but I am scared of what that might take or what he might use. I know I will have to learn to trust and lean on Him in a whole new way. I feel like I fully trust Him until something like this comes along and I see how far I have to go still. I am praying that I truly will “wait” on the Lord and see what is doing in me.

This and That

I have had so many blog post that I have wanted to write since I blogged last. So much has happened in the last four months; there is no way to recount everything… even if I could remember. It has been a time of joy, blessing, tears, uncertain and truly seeing God’s hand at work.

In February we celebrated Daniel’s 30^th birthday by going bowling and a family dinner. Corrie and Keon along with their kidos even got to come down and mom and dad came from Beaumont. I decided to do a construction site for Daniel’s cake and had a lot of fun carrying that themed on with the decorating.

As I believe all of you know my dad had a stroke and fall that cause a severe brain bleed on February the 25^th. It has been incredible to see the Lord once again use my dad to amaze the

 medical field. He continues to do remarkable after just three months out from brain surgery.

This was taken about four weeks after his surgery

Somewhere, in all that Daniel and I had our first anniversary. I am so incredibly blessed beyond words for my husband he was such a source of comfort and strength through everything with Dad. It has been an amazing year of marriage and I praise the Lord for it. I truly feel I am married to the most wonderful husband in the world. Thank you, Daniel for all you do, for your love, your strength and tender care, for the way you can make me laugh when I feel like crying, for your listening ear, for your encouragement and so, so much more! I love you with all my heart!

In April we went to Mississippi for my cousin,s wedding and Daniel and Shelden got to meet Aunt Sarah for the first time.

May has been a busy month as well. I got to celebrate my first Mother’s day with both my mom and son. My precious baby boy had 2 dozen roses and a box for chocolates delivered to mommy for mother’s day with a cute little note, :) and my sweet husband fixed everyone a wonderful breakfast.

Little man is growing and changing so fast. He brings so much joy to our lives. He now has two teeth and is constantly moving, I believe he will be crawling before long. He still loves to be held and cuddled much to his mommy’s joy!
 

Last night was also his first time to have rice cereal! :)

  On the 13^th of May we went up to Crockett for Andrew’s (Daniel’s brother) commissioning as a Second Lieutenant in the United States Army. All of Daniel’s side of the family were there and we enjoyed a fun time of fellowship together.

 

This past weekend we went back over to Beaumont for some dear friends, 25^th wedding anniversary celebration. Shelden also got to meet Nannie, a lady who knew me when I was a little girl. Nannie is probable the oldest lady that will ever hold and kiss on Shelden as she will be a 101 in September. Shelden was so sweet to her as he smiled and talked to her as she held him.

Well, like I said I had individual post planned for some of this, but time has gotten away from me. I feel like I have just given a bunch of facts, but maybe you will enjoy the pictures. Besides I have to start blogging again somewhere right? :)

One last thing, our little precious is now a half a year. Here are some pictures from his six month photo shoot.

Finally a Post From Mama

I know this post is really late, but I have spent the last ten weeks just enjoying and treasuring God's blessing of our sweet son. God is so good! Shelden is even more precious than I could ever have imagined, I am honored and humbled that the Lord has allowed me the privilege of being his mother. He has already brought so much delight to our lives. I have found myself wondering how the last two months could have pasted so quickly.

Ten weeks ago yesterday I held my son in my arms for the very first time, I can’t begin to tell you the joy of that moment. I know Daniel has already blogged about the birth, but I want to write a little as well. I will try not to share too much, but enough for those of you who wanted more. I had the first contraction a little before 5:00pm Tuesday evening November the 23^rd; I had already called my midwife earlier and told her I felt it would be soon. She said she would go home and get some sleep and to call her when I need her. As Daniel said in his post, because of cancellations our last night of birth class was that night. We decided to go ahead and go (I did not want to just sit around waiting) I think part of me was still afraid this wasn’t the real thing even though the signs were all there, I had been having pre-labor contractions for about two weeks. During the birth class the contractions became stronger and I found I had a hard time concentrating for the realty that soon Shelden would be here. We came home and I took a shower and went to be to see if we could get any rest. I believe Daniel said he got some, but between contractions and excitement I was wide awake. At 10:00pm my contractions started coming at four minutes apart constantly. After two hours of this I called Jackie while Daniel began setting up the birth pool. My mom had come over earlier in the day to start preparing our Thanksgiving meal and had just stayed when we realized I was going into labor. Jackie arrived at 1:30am and checked me. Things were progressing nicely, I was at 4cm. Jackie went go lie down, telling me she would check no me a little later and to call her if we need her. The next few hours were a wonderful time of bonding with Daniel. I can’t tell you what a help and encourage he was to me, with his gentle reminders to relax and breath, whispered scripture and his loving arms of support. He stayed with though all 20+ hours of labor and I can honestly say I do think I could have done it without him. He also impressed the midwives with how he stayed by my side for the whole time. At 6:00 Wednesday morning Jackie told me I was already at 8cm. I remember being surprised, I think I even asked Jackie if it shouldn't be harder than this, don’t get me wrong, it was by no means easy, but to that point I hadn’t found it that difficult. At 11:00am Shelden still hadn’t come so Jackie asked me if I would like for her to break my water, to which I replied, "yes." The Lord only knows why things at that point slowed to a crawl and my contractions spaced out to ten minutes apart. Jackie kept a constant check on Shelden’s heart rate which was always great, I remember her saying once after checking it, “Here is my take on your son, that he is steady and dependable.” :) I never had the sensation to push and from noon on was having such horrible back labor it didn’t seem worth it to push. In early labor Daniel had quoted me Psalms 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” And that is what I had to do – be still and know that the Lord was in control and rely on Him. I know in those last few hours it was His strength and not mine that brought Shelden into the world because after pushing for three and a half hours, I had none of me own. I remember thinking I wasn’t sure if I was going to be there at the end of it all and if I had had to push one more time I am not sure I would have been. At 5:52pm Wednesday November the 24^th, 2011 Shelden James Falkenstine arrived into the world, weighing 7lb 7oz and 20 1/2in long. I was blessed to have Daniel, my absolutely wonderful midwife Jackie Griggs and my mom (who was an immense help) there with me to greet him. Like I said above, the joy of holding my son in my arms for the first time was indescribable. He truly was/is a Thanksgiving blessing. I did hemorrhage, but after having a shot of Pitocin, was fine. You may ask why we didn’t go to the hospital. Well there were several reasons, but I am so thankful I wasn’t in the hospital. For one thing, I would have been a C-section, but above all I got to feel the Lord’s strength in a way I have never felt before. I think it also gave me a new understanding that everything really and truly is in His hands, and what it means that, “His strength is perfect when our strength is gone, He’ll carry us when we can’t carry on.” There is a verse in Isaiah I have liked for a while, but now love in a new way. Isaiah 49:15-16, “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me." That may not explain things but that is a little of what I have felt and learned lately. Two weeks after Shelden’s birth I had to have a DNC. I was running a 103 fever after over 24 hours on antibiotics. We are thankful for the Lord protection though it all.

The last two months have flown. Our little man has grown and changed so much. At his eight week checkup he weighed 14lb 5oz and was 24in long. He has been such an easy baby. He now smiles, coos, laughs and blows bubbles. He loves to be held, his bath time and kisses even leaning towards them. He is very inquisitive and always curious about his surroundings. I could go on and on about our Sheldy but this post is already long and "little man" is wanting cuddles so I will leave you with some pictures taken for him with all his pandas at two months and one day.

Wide Open Blue Eyes

Two days before the start of the Christmas season, we received our first gift. Shelden James was born on Wednesday the 24^th of November. Needless to say, it was like no other experience we had ever had. From the dad’s perspective, it was a pretty grueling process, and I’m sure that my sentiments were shared. I received a few calls and texts throughout the day before wondering if this could be it and making it challenging to focus on the important tasks of the day. Somehow, processing documents for building permits, and writing reports on potholes becomes difficult. We had actually been attending a birth class throughout the week, and the last session was scheduled for the evening of the 23^rd. What better way to start the labor than learning about what could go wrong in labor, and what the dad is supposed to do in the event that no professional help is present. I think I got an hour of sleep that night before being shaken awake by Lauryn and asked if we should ask the midwife to come over. The plan had been to have the birth within our own home. I was initially somewhat hesitant with this plan, but it became reinforced through the classes that we attended, and I noticed that minimal if any safety is given up in exchange for the security of giving birth in a select environment and being in control of the decisions made, but I digress. Starting at 10:30 that night and on was an experience that I won’t ever forget. Skipping the technical and\or graphic details, all indications showed that our son would be born at 10:00 that next morning. Things were progressing nicely (if I can use that term) all night long until the process grounded to a crawl, and Shelden didn’t end up making an appearance until close to 6:00 in the evening. I gained a lot of respect for Lauryn in those long hours when we more than once would have packed for a trip to the hospital and a possible emergency operation had it not been for a consistent strong heartbeat on the monitor, and a resounding determination by Lauryn. Waves of joy and relief filled all as a healthy “bouncing” baby boy let out his first cry, and was put into the arms of his awaiting mama.

Interestingly enough, weeks before, Lauryn had planned a Wednesday birth mainly so that the proud papa would get a few extra days to stick around and be a proud papa. Despite popular belief, some things actually do work out according to plan. Times as we now know them have quickly changed. Much of the inspiration for this blog has come at the ungodly hours of 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning with a pair of wide open blue eyes staring up into mine waiting to take another lap around the coffee table before promising to be a little quiter over the next few hours before repeating the process. It is the start of great things to come that we could previously only dream about, and a new appreciation for the great God that makes all of this happen.

A Recap

I haven't blogged in a while, so I will try to get one more post in before Shelden arrives. Which by the way I wouldn't mind being tonight, but since that doesn't look to be the case let’s see if I can update you a little on our lives the last few months -as if I can remember. I feel like my memory has been so bad lately.

In September we flew to South Carolina for a friend’s wedding. We also decided to make a baby moon of it. We ended up staying right outside the Great Smoky Mountains in North Carolina in a lovely Bed and Breakfast. We got a fantastic deal and got to get a room with a jacuzzi, which I absolutely enjoyed. It was a blessed and refreshing time to both of us.

Speaking of blessing we have been blessed abundantly with showers this year. First with all my wedding showers now with baby showers.

In October my dear friends in Beaumont gave a Panda themed shower. Below are some pictures from that. It was great getting to see everyone there.

This was from my mom. Isn't it cute?!
A gift from Granddad

My mother-in-law, sister-in-law and Pastor's wife all so gave us a lovely shower.

This is the beautiful cross stitch my mother-in-law made for Shelden.

Then a week ago Daniel’s work gave us another one. They took up a collection and got us our High Chair, Baby bouncer as well as some other things. Shelden is going to be one outfitted little baby!

While I was blogging, a package arrived for my aunt in England. Below is a picture of the beautiful blanket, hat, booties, and mittens she made and a little tiny England soccer kit! I love it! Thanks Aunt Linda! Granddad will love seeing him wear it!

I have felt great the last few weeks! Some of it may be due to nesting but I have also been going to the chiropractor and I think that it has given me more energy. I think I feel better and more energetic now at the end of my pregnancy than I have the whole rest of the time. I have all so been able to stay on top of things much better.

We are finishing up our birth classes this week. Yes, we are finishing taking our birth class the week of my due date. We singed up for them in October but the class didn't make then.

Well, that is a little of what has been going on the last few months. Hope to have another post very soon! :)

Shelden's Nursery

27 weeks

Well, as some of you know I have been making Shelden's baby bedding and as promised here are pictures ...

A big thank you goes to my mom for doing all the cutting out!

And now here is our sweet little one's nursery!!!
I am so pleased with how it all turned out!

Our Home

I have wanted to post some pictures of our house for a while now so without further ado...

Welcome to our home!