When someone asks me about my testimony I tend to feel I have nothing to share… I don’t have some amazing powerful testimony for coming to know the Lord as I was saved at a very young age; but that in itself is a testimony to God’s grace and protection in my life that he allowed me to grow up in a Christian home as a pastor’s daughter in fact and allowed my heart to be broken for Him and to see that even though I was young I was/ am a sinner and in a great need for Jesus Christ.
I have seen the Lord’s grace and protection over my life and that of my family over and over again. In seeing His grace has also come lessons in trust and ongoing lessons in trust. I hope that I am learning deeper levels of trust and not having to keep relearning the same trust over again, although at times I know this has been true.
In the nearly three
years Daniel and I have been married. The Lord has brought us through a lot. I
feel like many times He has brought us to the brink of what we as humans would
view as disaster only to show Himself powerful …
My labor with our son
was very difficult. I was told later by my midwife that I almost didn’t
survive. At the start of labor Daniel had given me Psalms 46:10, “Be still and
know that I am God”. I remember telling the Lord towards the end that I can’t
do this anymore. I am out of all my own strength I am being still and knowing
it is going to have to be you. Shelden was born a few minutes later after 24
hours of labor.
Three months later my
Dad suffered a fall and a brain bleed. As the Drs prepared to do an emergency surgery
they told us we can’t guarantee that he will ever wake up or that he will even survive
the surgery, but we do know that he will die in the next few hours if we do not
do surgery. That will be 2 years ago this month. My Dad had to relearn
everything but, to look at him today you wouldn’t know. My dad is a walking miracle
on more than one occasion.
That summer we found
out we were expecting Jenae. I was told by my midwife I wasn’t going to be able
to carry her with all the problems I was having. The Lord answered our prayers
here as well as a little later in the pregnancy when Daniel became very sick
after about month, many Drs and emergency room visits we still didn’t know what
was going on. Finely we were sent to an infectious disease Dr. who told us it was
either cancer or a virus. One long week of wondering if my husband had cancer, then
we were notified, he had the CMV virus and the Dr was very concerned at that
point for me as to quote him, “CMV is not kind to unborn babies”. It was found
after blood work that I had an immunity to it… the Lord had been protecting my
daughter years before. Jenae means God has answered and even in her short life,
this already fits her so well.
This past summer a Dr
report gave us a scare with my eyes that some of you know about as that is
about the time we started coming to HOPE. Once again the Lord has shown himself
mighty and right now after much prayer and tests one Dr said “you have nothing
to worry about girl.”
I know I could go on and on as my mom is going
through cancer right now, and through the story is still being written here the
Lord is powerful once again. She had surgery on Thursday and the Dr was able to
get all the tumor and it doesn’t appear to have spread. She is still in ICU and
there are a lot of unknowns, but it seems things are much better than first
thought.
There is a poem I love
called “WAIT” it talks about all the feeling and frustration of a person
waiting on the Lord and not feeling like they can see Him doing anything, then
hearing what the Lord is teaching. In the last part of the poem it says…
You'd never experience that fullness of love,
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.
The glow of My comfort, late into the night,
The faith that I give, when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked,
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have, last.
You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that "My grace is sufficient for thee."
”Yes, your dreams for your loved ones, overnight would come true,
But, oh the loss if I lost, what I'm doing in you!
So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see,
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all, is still WAIT.
Once a few years ago while going through a bible study we talked about missing out on blessing because we don’t like the package it comes in. I hope I will see all trials as potential blessings. No it will not always turn out as well as the Lord has allowed it in the past but if I allow Him to work, it can be a great blessing.
I don’t understand all
that God has done or is doing in my life but I pray that I will allow Him to
work so that he won’t loss what he is working in me.
I guess the reason I have been thinking about this is because
we feel that once again through the Lord’s grace and mercy we have more to add
to our list of blessings. For a few days it was looking like we may be losing
of precious little unborn baby, but the Lord has allowed things to improve and
right now things seem to be going well. I feel so blessed and I don’t
understand why the Lord has allowed things to turn out so well for us EXCEPT to
show HIS POWER. So, I just wanted to offer Him praise by sharing this with you.
